Revelations come from words, and I’ve recently experienced many different revelations. Life is in a constant state of flux and chaos, but learning to balance the chaotic circle is the key to finding happiness.
I went to a hot yoga class and felt exhilarated upon completion. I went back for another session and found the same state of euphoria. Upon discovering this experience, I decided to sign up for unlimited classes per month. There was a special price, so I’m saving $16/month in order to practice in a sauna with other like-minded individuals while consistently experiencing the same high I felt after the first class. “Elation” doesn’t begin to describe the feeling of the endorphins pulsing through my body as my heart rate drops back to normal and I cease to sweat. My entire body hurts, but it’s a wonderful pain I’ve never before experienced. My mom told me to find something – anything – that I can find peace and release in other than my writing. I found my something that will pull me out of my apartment and force me to focus only on my breath and my poses, clearing my mind of the constant chatter of things left undone.
In a world filled with the constant need to “go, go, go,” I think I’ve finally found a way to become one with myself and find the inner peace I’ve always desired. It wasn’t found in front of my computer, it wasn’t found in a cafe, and it wasn’t found in a gym. It was found in a boiling studio with many other people from many walks of life all sharing in the same excruciating 90 minutes. I don’t know why they practice, or what drove them to that studio, but I do know that I was taken there for a reason. I was taken there in order to find myself, in order to meet new people, and have new experiences.
My journal is filling up rather nicely. I keep it with me at all times just in case I think of something that needs to be written down. I went to the park yesterday with my camera and snapped pictures of trees, water, animals, and dirt. I met someone wearing all black and a belt with skulls with a fishing pole in her hand. She walked over to where I was standing by the lake and said, “Hi there!” I turned to her and smiled, saying, “Hello! How are you?” I made a random friend on a beautiful day in the park. She let me photograph her with fishing pole in hand, telling me that she was so glad that she was able to get out earlier than sunset so that she could enjoy the beautiful day by fishing. “All black, sleep all day, up all night,” she told me with a grin on her face. I replied, “I wear all black to work, so I try not to wear it when I’m not working. It’s a bit difficult, since my closet is filled with black shirts, but I try nonetheless.” She found that interesting and asked where I work. When I told her, she asked me about a specific dish but said that she’d never been there. Maybe she’ll come in one day, and I’ll get to say, “Hello!” once more. Maybe she won’t, but she made me smile while we discussed the lack of decent fish in the lake.
Upon leaving her to her fishing, I found a vacant bench swing and pulled out my journal. I wrote to myself, I wrote to him, and I wrote to you. I poured my thoughts out, however jumbled they decided to fill the pages. I still can’t make sense of what I wrote, but I know it felt great to just sit, be, and write. There’s something peaceful about sitting in nature without music and a pen and notebook in hand. It’s inspiring and uplifting to realize the world can be quiet while there’s noise all around.
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